Rest.
As many of you are aware, I recently lost my job. Five years, and all I have to show for it is a $300 unemployment check, laid off without notice during the holidays—Christmas, to be precise.
Since then, I've been tirelessly searching for work. Every day, I'm researching, joining groups, submitting applications, tailoring my resume to fit whatever job I’m applying for, only to be met with, “We have moved on to other candidates.”
I'm tired.
Exhausted.
Mentally and emotionally drained.
On top of that, I was panicking about rent.
Almost two months later, I am still out of work, having submitted over 200 applications (a minimum estimate). Today, I curled up in my bed and simply read. I felt guilty. My mind bombarded me with, “You don’t have a job. You can’t pay rent. You don’t have time to relax. Get up and get back on that laptop until you get income.” Then the other part of my brain said, “You could be writing! People are waiting for your stories. You could be doing social media, advertising, creating content for other sites—hustle, hustle, hustle!”
And I wanted to scream!
“Leave me alone! Let me rest! Let me cry. Let me be weak for one moment in my life.”
But I couldn’t even be that because I am a strong black woman, and we don’t get to be saved. We've got to get up and carry our burdens, their burdens, my burdens, her burdens, his burdens, and the stranger I don’t even know's burdens and keep pushing. No one rescues the black girl.
I even created a GoFundMe, and thank goodness I have other women in my life who have helped me out because they too know how it feels to be the strong woman who has to carry it all.
Even so, I couldn’t help but curse myself out today because I had the audacity to rest. As I write this blog post, it is born out of the fact that my mind HAD to do something.
This is my reminder that it's okay to do nothing. It doesn't make me a failure. I won't get left behind. I am not missing out on anything.
It's okay to rest.
As we move into February, I begin to remember history and all those who came before me.
The most revolutionary action for those enslaved was to rest.
In 2024, with toxic work culture, hustle culture, and the verge of financial collapse... relaxation seems to be only afforded to the rich and the wealthy.
The poor must continue to grind. We must continue to plow the metaphorical fields, break our backs and bruise our fingers picking cotton, and slave away at a 9-5 until the day we die.
Because that is the American way!
Listen, I can go on and on and rant about this until I’m blue in the face. Many have before me, during me, and after me. Unfortunately, there are far too many people out there who feel exactly the way I do.
If you’re feeling burnt out, exhausted, and empty... remember, your rest is revolutionary. Tap out when you need to. Pause often. Quit as needed. Say "no" frequently.
Don't feel guilty for doing what your ancestors fought hard to do.
Take. A. Day. Off.
Log out.
And for the love of all things good, tell your mind to shut up and listen to you for once.
